The idea that two people compliment each other so well that they complete each other is very interesting. The lover’s souls are in sync with each other, energy between them flows smoothly, communication is sincere and warm. It almost seems like so many aspects of a relationship have to be right in order to reach this height of love. It is to no surprise then, that people, often have many failed attempts at reaching this stage. The incompatibility of love at this level may present itself at any time during a relationship, but the acceptance of it is often saddening and inescapable. Lovers have to come to terms with the reality that sometimes it just can’t work. This is exceptionally seen in Catullus’ self-address regarding his relationship, where he touches on letting go, “Why don’t you toughen up your spirit, pull back from there and, since the gods say no, stop suffering? It’s hard to put down a long love just like that, it’s hard, but somehow you must do it. Only this can save you, this is one you’ve got to win. Do it, whether you can or you can’t.” Catullus knows there is no good to come if his love is to be continued, he wants to prevent any harm going forward by basically ending it as soon as possible. When I heard “when the party’s over” by contemporary artist Billie Eilish, I saw a lot of similarities. Both present a rather dismal and sad experience with love, specifically a love that must be let go. Billie sings, “But nothin’ is better sometimes, Once we’ve both said our goodbyes, Let’s just let it go, Let me let it go.” The narrator in the song knows whats best, despite the pain that may come along, something very common in Catullus’ self-address.
The idea of letting go and acceptance are present in both the song and Catullus’ poem, but they differentiate themselves in the givers and receivers of pain. It seems to be Catullus inflicting most the pain onto himself in his self-address, but in the song it is quite different. The song immediately starts by saying how the narrator is no good for the other person. The pain here is being inflicted by the narrator herself onto another party. The pain Catullus refers to is self-inflicted.
Games of Venus, Peter Bing & Rip Cohen
Catullus, Passage #76