Leaving Love Behind

Breathe Again

(Ancient Text by Gaius Valerius Catullus, translated by Peter Bing and Rip Cohen) and Breathe Again (Contemporary Song by Sara Bareilles)

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Both Sara Bareilles and Catullus decide that the best way to escape love to is to leave it all behind and travel somewhere else. Physical distance is used as a means of forgetting someone in this ancient poem and modern song. Catullus goes through a list of multiple destinations that are being considered and says that he is ready for “whatever the will of the gods will bring”. He is truly leaving his old life behind and embracing what the world throws at him, whether it be good or bad. Catullus clearly conveys that he hasn’t fully thought out what he is going to do, but needs to leave immediately. Sara Bareilles begins her song by saying that her “bags are packed” and she is moving on. Like Catullus, she is attempting to escape the past and says she hopes one day she can “breathe again”. Her past relationship has left her lost, and by traveling, Sara wants to find herself and be able to function on her own.

Catullus regards the woman he loved bitterly, and recalls how she is constantly with many men. He uses the phrase “thanks to her” when talking about his fallen love, which elicits how he blames her for hurting him. On the other hand, Sara says her ex-lover “holds my love in his hands”, as if her love for him is still alive, rather than lost like Catullus’ love is. Though Catullus and Sara may both be leaving, they are leaving for different reasons and regard their lovers differently. Catullus wants to be rid of a woman who did not acknowledge his love, while Sara feels she needs to leave to find herself again even though she still loves this man.

Ancient Text Excerpt:

Catullus
Page 201-202, Poem 11, lines 1-14, 21-24
Furius and Aurelius, comrades of Catullus,
whether he shall go as far as distant India,
where the shore is beaten by the roaring
Eastern wave,
or the Hyrcani or the dainty Arabs,
or the Sagae or the arrow-bearing Parthians
or the seas that the seven-mouthed Nile
discolors,
or if shall climb the lofty Alps
to see the marks of Caesar’s greatness,
and the Gallic Rhine and the chilling sea
of far-off Britain
–ready to risk all these things with him,
whatever the will of the gods shall bring

let her not look, as before, to my love,
for thanks to her it has fallen like a flower
at the meadow’s edge, after it’s been nicked
by a passing plow.

Key Lyrics:

Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn’t look back
At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?
All those words came undone and now I’m not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again
I’ll breathe again


Click for full lyrics

Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn’t look back
At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?
All those words came undone and now I’m not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again
I’ll breathe again
Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can’t carry anymore
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again
Oh, It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you
Yeah, it hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, and still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again
I’ll breathe again, I’ll breathe again,
I’ll breathe again, I’ll breathe again,
I’ll breathe again, I’ll breathe again

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