Through his poetry, Tibullus seems to be warning his readers to love while they are still young. He writes, “So you, while you’ve got the pristine blossom of your youth, use it. It slips away on light feet.” (Tibullus 1.8, lines 47-48). Tibullus is saying that you won’t be young forever, and that you should use your youth to love. In a similar way, “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin tells the story of his relationship with his son. At first, the father doesn’t have time to spend with his son, and then later on when the son is all grown up, the son now doesn’t have time to spend with the father. The father wasted his time to spend with his son when he was young, and it was gone by the time he was older.
One large difference between these two works is that Tibullus is talking more about romantic love as opposed to “Cat’s in the Cradle” is more about familial love. While this is a rather large distinction, I still feel that the overall message of the two are still fairly similar. Both pieces convey that we should take advantage of our love while we are still able to because love doesn’t last forever. In the case of Tibullus, romantic love fades with age, and with “Cat’s in the Cradle” relationships between children and their parents may fade with time, so it is important to cherish it while it lasts.
So you, while you’ve got the pristine blossom of your youth,
use it. It slips away on light feet.
(Tibullus 1.8, lines 47-48)
Beauty is an important theme when discussing love because it is often the initial object of attraction between people. Humans are attracted to beautiful things, whether this is beauty in a person, the natural world, or even art. Both the lyrics from the Bruno Mars song and the quote from Tibullus mention hair in relation to the beauty of the person they admire. Both excerpts are also focusing on the natural beauty of their beloveds and the lack of effort it takes them to be enchanting to the men. This sentiment could be related to the rose-colored glasses that many people are said to wear when they fall in love with someone. When strong feelings develop, it is easy to overlook the flaws of the other person.
Unlike Bruno Mars’ song, which is a genuine love song, Tibullus’ work is tainted with a bitter note. The rest of the piece focuses on how a previous love has moved on to another boy, leaving the author to lament about how her looks enchant men to love her even when she has moved on.
“It’s useless to change your clothes, to change your cloaks,
to pinch your feet in tight-laced shoes.
She looks good even when she hasn’t done her face
or coaxed her hair to a skillful shine.”
page 237: 1.8^15- Line 13-16
After Daphnis had sat by her, kissed her, lain down with her in his arms, Lycanenion could tell that he was able for love-making and all athrob with desire; so she made him raise himself a little from where he lay on his side, slid her body expertly under his, and guided him into the road which had eluded him till then. After that she didn’t bother to do anything exotic- there was no need, because Nature herself taught him how to complete the act.
(Longus, Daphnis and Chloe page 54, 18)
Unrequited love is a theme that arises in many of the ancient texts, and honestly, is a theme that is continued to be written about today. The idea of loving someone who does not reciprocate the same feelings or is unsure about their feelings is a love story as old as time. However, unrequited love has many complexities depending on the context and can vary across relationships. In the “2nd Book”, written by the poet Theognis, the idea of unrequited love comes up multiple times, but the occurrence that stands out to me is in the story of a lover and his chase of a younger boy. This situation serves as an example of pederastic love often described in classical literature and is one of the most common examples of unrequited love. In fact, this pederastic relationship is almost encouraged by society to be an unrequited relationship. In classical society, it was common for older people to feel sexual attraction towards the idea of youth, or younger people themselves. However, it was common for younger people not to be sexually attracted to the idea of old age, or their elders. Rather, young people were encouraged to be attracted to wisdom, typically in a non-sexual way. Theognis’ story is a great example of this relationship since the lover is seen pursuing a younger, beautiful boy attempting to tell him that he is in love with him. The boy, however, does not exactly reciprocate these feelings, and the lover often brings this up in the literature, often asking why he does not respect him or return his kindness. This reminded me of a line in Guns N’ Roses’s song called November Rain, in which the singer is speaking to his lover and telling her that if she won’t love him, he’ll just keep walking in the cold November Rain. This incites a very gloomy picture and the audience thinks about the feeling of rejection or loneliness, and this is sort of the same feeling I got when reading about the older man in this story.
Although the feelings that are aroused are similar, the situations of unrequited love are very different. In the case of the “2nd Book”, it seems that there is no underlying relationship between the two men in the story, and it seems that the older man is solely attracted to the younger boy for sex. Most of the lover’s remarks about the about the younger lover are about his physical beauty and youth. On the other hand, the story told in November Rain gives the impression that there are two people who have a deep history and prior relationship. It also seems that love in this relationship is not solely sexual. The other main difference was that the love in November Rain is talked about in a hopeful way, implying that the other person actually might truly love the singer. However, the love in the “2nd Book” seemed extremely one-sided and hopeless for the lover.
“2nd Book”, Lines 1263-1266:
“Boy, you paid back a bad exchange for kindness.
No thanks from you for favors.
You’ve never given me pleasure. And though I’ve often
been kind to you, I never won your respect.”
Ovid’s poem describes how people always want things and people they can’t have, such as a girl who belongs to someone else. Similarly, Rick Springfield writes a song about how he wants his friend’s girl and wants to “make her mine”. Both Ovid and Springfield express the idea that a person who is already taken and is unavailable is even more attractive to them. Ovid instructs the reader to guard his girl because it is foolish for him not to think someone else wants her, and goes on further to say that he would “love her more” if she was protected better. This emphasizes his desire for a girl that is hard-to-get. Rick Springfield uses imagery to convey how Jessie’s girl is loving Jessie “with that body” and watching him “with those eyes”. He is talking about the girl using descriptions of her loving his friend, which shows how he too is more attracted to this girl because she is in a relationship with his friend.
Interestingly, Ovid emphasizes that men should guard their women more in his poem, while Springfield just seems to want to take his friend’s girl. Ovid likes to play the game, and tells the readers that when women are guarded, it makes him more obsessed with them. However, Springfield says that “I know he’s been a good friend” about Jessie, as if he feels guilty about wanting his girl. To Springfield, his desire for this girl is intense and he knows that Jessie hasn’t wronged him in any way, so wanting her is wrong. Ovid simply wants what he can’t have and doesn’t care about the implications his feelings may have.
Ovid
Page 267, Poem 2.19, lines 1-5
If you feel no need to guard your girl, fool,
guard her for my sake, so I’ll love her more.
If you can have it, who wants it; if you can’t, it burns hotter.
Only a man of iron loves what another lets him.
We lovers should fear as much as hope.
In both Theocritus’ idyll 11 and Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” they present a narrator talking to a person that they have feelings for and wonder why they person is not in love with them. The cyclops in Theocritus’ poem gives excuses for himself as to why Galatea does not want to be with him in the same way Swift’s narrator gives excuses for herself. They point out all the things that they do better and the reasons why the person they are writing/singing to should be with them and how they differ from what the person they want seems to be interested in. “Look at this beautiful life and love I could give you! Choose me!” both of these stories scream. We don’t get perspective from the narrators’ muses, though. Only the begging and asking for pity and forgiveness for their “otherness.”
The biggest difference, which isn’t present in Swift’s lyrics but in her music video, is that in the end the boy realizes that the narrator is the one he wants to be with and the narrator’s cries were worth something whereas I don’t believe Galatea ever falls in love with the cyclops or chooses to live with him.
“I know, you charmer, why you run away: because a shaggy brow spans my whole forehead one vast brow from ear to ear, with a single eye beneath, a broad nose over the lip. Yet, though this is how I am, I tend a thousand head and milking them, I drink the finest milk.” (30-34)