Parallels

Both Plato’s Symposium and “I Melt with You” use the verbiage “melt” to describe two lovers coming together physically, uniting as one through sex. The unique use of “melt” to describe love shows a complete blurring of the individual during the act of sex so that two people are melded and formed together. Both the speech and the song describe the act of melting together in physical love as the best thing on earth (lyrics such as “making love to you was never second best”) and the “world crashing” significance for people to unify with their lover. Both ancient Greece and modern society want to feel whole and impossibly close to their partner.

However, Aristophanes’ speech describes the melting together through love and sex as a reunification, forming back together two people who were once a single form. In contrast, the Modern English song describes the melting as an intense closeness, still maintaining separate pronouns for each individual showing a lack of total unification as Aristophanes describes. Therefore, both the song and text have the same idea, but the song describes emotional and physical closeness whereas the text describes literal reunification and melting into one through sex.

The Speech of Aristophanes
192E-193A, pp.29

Instead, everyone would think he’d found out at last what he had always wanted: to come together and melt together with the one he loves, so that one person emerged from two. Why should this be so? It’s because, as I said, we used to be complete wholes in our original nature, and now “Love” is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete.

In the text about the ancient values of marriage, we were able to experience the happy coupling of Pliny and his wife, Calpurnia. He writes about his deep affection to her and how she completely devotes herself to him. On page 45, paragraph 61 he writes “She has even, because of her affection for me, taken an interest in literature…What anxiety she feels when I am going to plead a case in court, what great relief when I have finished!…and [she] listens very eagierly to the praise I win. No musician has taught her, but love itself, the best of instructors.” 

One might even say that Calpurnia’s love for Pliny is sweet, like sugar. Maroon 5 describes a very similar ode to love, titled Sugar. In the beginning of the music video (linked below) couples are being interviewed about their sweet love for one another as well. The song then goes on the describe Adam Levine’s lover as being a devoted as well:

“Yeah you show me good loving
Make it alright
Need a little sweetness in my life
Your sugar
Yes, please
Won’t you come and put it down on me”

Even more similarly, Pliny goes on to write to Calpurnia when she was away from him while recovering from an illness. He writes how much he misses her and how he longs to see her again on page 46, Paragraph 62: “It is incredible how much I miss you, because I love you and then because we are not used to being separated…and then I turn and leave, sick at heard and sad, like a lover locked out on a deserted doorstep.”

Maroon 5’s Sugar is also coincidentally written about a lover who is currently away from him! He writes about the similar heartbreak he feels while they’re away in the first two stanzas:

On page 45, paragraph 61 he writes “She has even, because of her affection for me, taken an interest in literature…What anxiety she feels when I am going to plead a case in court, what great relief when I have finished!…and [she] listens very eagierly to the praise I win. No musician has taught her, but love itself, the best of instructors.” 

page 46, Paragraph 62: “It is incredible how much I miss you, because I love you and then because we are not used to being separated…and then I turn and leave, sick at heard and sad, like a lover locked out on a deserted doorstep.”

In the Homeric hymn to Aprhodite, similar to the song “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison, the artists are both discussing a woman that is seems to leave none immune to their charm and beauty. Orbison writes, “I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth…No one could look as good as you, mercy.” He goes on to beg her to pay attention to him, hoping that she gives him so much as a glance, so completely engulfed with the energy she is giving off. In the Homeric hymn, the author writes about how no one, not even Zeus, is capable of ignoring the beautiful Aphrodite. Her looks and presence complete dominate the attention of everyone’s eyes.

The difference, though, is that in the hymn, the author talks about how there are a few people that are “unable to be persuaded” by Aphrodite, whereas in “Pretty Woman,” although quite a short and repetitive song, there seems to be no wiggle room for the people under the muse’s spell.

“But nobody else, none of the blessed gods, no mortal man, no one else can ever escape Aphrodite. She even leads astray the mind of Zeus himself, the lover of lightning, the greatest of all, the one who receives the greatest honor. And when she wants to, she can deceive that sage heart of his easily, and make even him mate with mortal women, hiding from Hera, his sister and wife.” (pg 70)

Saphho’s poem describes how the narrator feels both physically and emotionally when she sees her lover with someone else. In this, she uses language such as “your tempting laugh, which sets my heart a-flutter in my breast.” After reading this poem, I immediately thought of the song “Satisfied” from Hamilton. This is because “Satisfied” uses the same type of wording to describe Angelica’s feelings for Alexander, like how he “set my heart aflame, every part aflame.” Also, both Angelica and the speaker in Sappho’s poem describe how they become flustered and cannot speak in the presence of their love interest. There is also a similarity between the two situations the speakers face in these works. In Sappho’s poem, the speaker is heartbroken as she watches her lover flirting with someone else. This is similar to “Satisfied” because at the end of the song Angelica must watch as Alexander marries her sister and not her.

However there is one stark difference between the two scenarios: In “Satisfied,” Angelica chooses to let Alexander go, even though she loves him. This is because she knows that he is poor and, as the eldest Schuyler sibling, she is expected to marry a wealthy man to carry on the family legacy. In comparison, the speaker in Sappho’s poem did not make the choice to leave her lover and is left pining from afar.

Sappho 31 (L-P)
Bing and Cohen, pp.75

He seems to me the equal of the gods,
that man, who sits with you
face to face and, near you, listens closely
to your lilting voice,

your tempting laugh, which sets
my heart a-flutter in my breast.
For when I see you even a moment, I can’t
speak any longer,

but my tongue goes mute…., a sudden, slender
flame invades my flesh,
my eyes go dark, my ears
are roaring,

cold sweat covers me, a trembling
seizes all my body, paler than grass
am I, and little short of dead
I seem to myself

but I must bear it all, since….even a poor man
………………..

Both of these passages are about ephemeral amounts of time between two lovers. In ‘Say Goodbye,’ the time period is a single evening that ends the next day, when the woman “go[es] back to [her] man” and the two lovers are just friends as they were before the evening began whereas in Catallus’s poem, once “the brief day ends”, there will be an endless night, meaning death. So, Catallus’s poem is much more metaphorical: the “brief day” being the longevity of the lovers’ relationship up until death.

I chose these two passages because the contrast between a goodbye after an evening affair and death as a goodbye that ends a relationship is very interesting. In both cases a romantic love is ending abruptly and in both cases the framework of day turning to night or vice versa is used, yet despite these similarities, the magnitude of the goodbye is vastly different.

For Dave Matthews, the goodbye is one that signifies how the two lovers relate to one another: as lovers in the evening versus as friends the next day. But for Catallus, the goodbye is a goodbye to life itself, though he frames it as a goodbye between lovers, showing just how important the love between them is to the narrator- important enough to diminish the fact that the lovers are dying and emphasize instead that they are leaving each other

Suns can set and rise again;
for us, once the brief day ends,
we must sleep one endless night.
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,

We have often talked about love in the context of pain, touching on how it can bring unpleasant experiences to people in love. One of these not so great experiences is longing, and with longing comes detachment. Sharing some common ground on this is an excerpt in Shelton’s “Marriage” chapter and music artist Lord Huron in the song called “The Night We Met.” A section of an inscription found in Rome reads, “I therefore beg, most sacred Manes, that you look after the loved one I have entrusted to you, and that you be well disposed and very kind to him in the hours of the night, so that I may see him, and so that he, too, may wish to persuade fate to allow me to come to him softly, and soon. ” The wife of this deceased man surely had much respect for him, enough to feel saddened by his passing. She wishes to be with him again. Similar in Lord Hurons song, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you, Oh take me back to the night we met.” Lord Huron’s longing in the song is clear to the listener. Two partners have gone their own ways and now one of them clearly wants the love they once had, not having it, thus, gives him pain. The type of love that arises in both pieces is a healthy love, at least it’s portrayed that way, and both lovers wish to experience it again at some point. The pain comes only after they’ve had this experience, when the love is absent, therefore sparking the longing and detachment that follows soon after.

Despite their similarities with painful love, time seems to differentiate the two. There is a clear longing for love that has already been experienced in Lord Huron’s song when the guy wishes to go back to the night he and his lover met, a love in the past. The wives inscription points to a longing for love she wishes to continue, even if it means that it will have to be in the after life, love in the future. It’s also worth noting the lover in pain in one is a male and a female in the other.

Shelton, Ch.III, Marriage
Page 48, Excerpt 68 – “Love for a husband” CIL 6.18817

These two passages resonate with each other in the sense that they are both about a lover giving themselves to their beloved and both are from a male perspective. The lines in ‘Snow Outside’, “even if the oceans divide us / I’ll be here right by your side / for the rest of our days” register with Phaedria’s first few lines, “when you are with your soldier in person, be absent in spirit. Night and day, love me… .” In both, the idea of the distance between lovers (a.k.a. absence) is used to measure the love of a lover. In ‘Snow Outside,’ Dave Matthews is saying that even if his lover and him are far apart geographically, their love will keep them, metaphorically, together or “by [each other’s] side” and in The Eunuch, Phaedria is saying something analogous- even if his lover is physically with someone else, he wants her to be with him in “spirit” through her love and thoughts.

One interesting difference is that Phaedria’s passage seems more complex. This is because he is asking his lover to return his love- addressing a “you” who is Thais in this case. In the end, Phaedria says “you have my heart: try to give me yours” as if to suggest that all the things he asks of Thais (ie. “long for me, wait for me, think of me”), he has already given to her. So in an interesting way, this last line signifies that not only is Phaedria asking Thais to love him, but he is simultaneously professing the extent of his love. This adds another layer on top of what is going on in “Snow Outside” because, in the song, Dave Matthews just confesses love rather than dually confessing and requesting it. Although, the lover’s position in ‘Snow Outside’ is interesting in its own right because the lyrics imply an assumed mutuality of love with phrases like, “for the rest of our days” implying that their lives (their “days”) have become one, unified by the possessive “ours.”

When you are with your soldier in person, be absent in spirit. Night and day, love me, long for me, dream of me, wait for me, think of me, hope for me, find joy in me, and be all mine. You have my heart: try to give me yours

In the book of Marriage, which discusses many different aspects of ancient marriage, in the section regarding the Expectations of Marriage there is an excerpt from Plutarch that describes his ideal relationship between a husband and wife.  He writes that “every activity also makes clear the sovereignty and choice of the husband,” and that “[a wife] should share in the seriousness and playfulness and melancholy and laughter of her husband.”  That is very similar to the message in the song, “Stand By Your Man.”  Even when the wife will “have bad times, and he’ll have good times… and if you love him oh be proud of him.”  Additionally, at the end of the song the lyrics read, “Keep giving all the love you can, Stand by your man.”  In ancient literature, it is clear that writers believed that wives should be obedient and loving towards their husbands, and this appears to be echoed even in modern music.

However, while the song starts out seemingly sexist, it quickly become apparent that the lyrics are more comically disparaging to men as they read, “And if you love him oh be proud of him, ‘Cause after all he’s just a man.”  While in the ancient text there is no comical relief that excuses why the wife should be ultimately subordinate, but this is contrasted in the modern music by insinuating that a man is relatively simple and can’t help “Doin’ things that you don’t understand.”

“When two voices sing in unison, the melody of the deeper voice prevails. So, too, in a temperate household every activity is carried out with both parties in agreement, but every activity also makes clear the sovereignty and choice of the husband… A wife should have no emotion of her own, but should share in the seriousness and playfulness and melancholy and laughter of her husband.” (Marriage 58, ‘Plutarch, Moral Advice 139D, F; 140 A’)

After reading, “singing of you, my honey bunch” the song I Can’t Help Myself came to mind instantly given the lyrics, “Sugar pie, honey bunch, You know that I love you, I can’t help myself, I love you and nobody else.”  The word honeybunch made the connection, but as I read the poem further, more lines jumped out that mirrored the lyrics.  For example, he writes, “and I’d even let you burn my soul, and my one eye, sweetest thing of all to me” and the song sings, “Girl it starts to flame (Burning in my heart, tearing it all apart).”  Like much love burning the soul is shared between both ancient poetry and music of the last century.  Lastly, Theocritus is pleading, “Come out, Galatea, and coming out, forget, as I do now in sitting here, to go back home,” while the Four Tops are singing, “You know that I’m waiting for you (Waiting for you).”  I see the similarity being that the person is outside the house, waiting for the person to come back home with them.

Where these works differ though is that Theocritus talks about his life, and what he is able to offer her, whereas the Four Tops don’t focus on their outside life, they focus only on professing how much they love their Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch.

(Theocritus 11)

“singing of you, my honeybunch, and me
often in the dead of night. And I’m rearing eleven fawns for you”

“and I’d even let you burn my soul
and my one eye, sweetest thing of all to me”

“Come out, Galatea, and coming out, forget,
as I do now in sitting here, to go back home.”

When I read Meleager’s poem about Heliodora’s death, at least in this poem, and he spoke of his tears for her because “Hades plucked her, plucked her away,” it reminded me of Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven because he wrote that song with the inspiration of his four year old son falling out of a manhattan apartment window, being plucked from him.  Both of them “Wailing, wailing, … weep for you, my love, even among the dead,” and “begging please.”  Furthermore, Meleager directly says that he has “Tears for you, Heliodora” while Clapton says that “I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven” which implies he’s crying for his son.  Given how tragic the event was, there is a connection between Heliodora being in “full bloom” and Clapton’s son being so young.

I think the biggest difference between these two pieces is who they are singing to.  While it is one thing to love a lover, it is another to lose your four year old son.  Additionally, one is an ancient poem with unconfirmed historical accuracy, and the other is a tragic story of one of the greatest guitar players we know, so I feel more passion and more moved from Clapton’s song, despite the strong parallels.

(Meleager G-P 56)

“Tears for you , Heliodora, down through the earth into Hades, I offer you these traces of love, tears bitter wept.”

“Wailing, wailing, I Meleager weep for you, my love, even among the dead–an empty thank-you down toward Acheron”

“O God! where’s the girl I long for? Hades plucked her, plucked her away, ash stained a flower in full bloom”

There are many similarities between the ancient comedy The Brothers by Terence and the song I’ll Stand by You by The Pretenders, in that they speak of standing by a loved one despite their flaws and failures. In the ancient text, Micio talks about the bad and difficult habits of his adopted son, Aeschinus, who has “treated me pretty badly over this” and that “He has been the round of the whores, and they’ve all cost money” (pg 345, ln12-14). Although Micio disapproves of Aeschinus’s actions and decisions, he decides to support him in order for him to learn, “Life is like a game of dice; if you don’t get the throw you need most, you must use skill to make the best of what turns up” (pg 374,7-9). Micio also knows that arguing will resolve nothing, “I wasn’t going to show him I was upset. However much I try to placate him, I only start arguing and put him off… if I were to add to his fury or even try to share it, I should soon be as crazy as he is” (pg 345, ln 7-11). In the song by The Pretenders, the band sings about supporting a loved one when they are upset or lost. The song is similar to The Brothers  in the way it expresses it utmost support no matter what, “Don’t be ashamed to cry, Let me see you through, ‘Cause I’ve seen the dark side too, When the night falls on you, You don’t know what to do, Nothing you confess, Could make me love you less.” Both also authors express have seen and experienced the dark side of their loved ones before. The lyric, “When you’re standing at the crossroads, And don’t know which path to choose, Let me come along, Cause even if you’re wrong, I’ll stand by you” shows a similarity in how being wrong or right is not what matters to the author. 

The difference between the texts is that Micio in The Brothers does display his aggravation over his son’s bad decisions. He openly says  “He’s being unreasonable” (pg 345, ln 10) and complains how his misbehavior is “all starting again!” (pg 345, ln 17). On the other hand, The Pretenders only sing about support and even about protecting the loved one from harm “won’t let nobody hurt you”. It appears that Micio is more willing for Aeschinus to get hurt in order for him to learn from his mistakes. Micio also expresses his desire to let Aeschinus make his own decisions, because he hopes it will increase their relationship and familial love. Micio does not want Aeschinus to associate him with an authoritarian figure restricting his decisions.  

The Brothers by Terence
[pg 345]
(ln 6) There’s something in what he says, but it’s not the whole story. I don’t really like it, but I wasn’t going to show him I was upset. However much I try to placate him, I only start arguing and put him off; he’s that sort of man. He’s being unreasonable, and if I were to add to his fury or even try to share it, I should soon be as crazy as he is. All the same, Aeschinus has treated me pretty badly over this. He has been the round of the whores, and they’ve all cost money; then only the other day he got sick of them, I suppose, and announced his intention of marrying. I hoped he was growing up and settling down, and I was delighted. Now it’s all staring again!

[pg 374]
(ln 6) If I could alter the situation – no. But as things are, I can’t; so I must accept it quietly. Life is like a game of dice; if you don’t get the throw you need most, you must use skill to make the best of what turns up.

Catullus and Journey give us a glimpse into the men who are waiting in the wings, just hoping to swoop down and win back the woman of their dreams. In the chorus of the song “Separate Ways”, the singer comes on strong, saying “Someday love will find you/Break those chains that bind you, one night will remind you/How we touched and went our separate ways/If he ever hurts you, true love won’t desert you/You know I still love you/Though we touched and went our separate ways”. The singer is just waiting, hoping, to have a chance with the woman he parted ways with once before. Even though the lover is with someone new, and may be happy with them, the singer implies that his is the truest love.

A similar sentiment is found in Catullus. His muse is a woman known as Lesbia, and he writes about her frequently. Topics range from who she is with, what she says about him (nothing good), and how he is the one that loves her the most, “No woman can say she’s been loved so truly as you, Lesbia, have been loved by me. There was never such trust in any bond, as was found, on my part, in my love of you.” (Catullus, 87). Here again we see this idea of the author being the one who clearly loves the object of affection the most. Lesbia is with another man, trash-talking him, and yet Catullus still patiently waits for a chance with her.

Here we may see a connection in the theme of obsession, these men have no real evidence that these women want to be with them, and yet they just lurk about, lying in wait, as if that is somehow romantic? Obsession is a remarkably consistent theme in erotic love from the ancient world to today.
These works are different in that the Singer’s love story is never resolved, whereas Catullus does end up with Lesbia for the time being (and supposedly she came back to him willingly, Catullus 107). There is also a different flavor of language used to talk about the relationship the object of affection has with her own lover, the singer uses references to chains and bonds to indicate that his ex-lover is now trapped in a less passionate relationship, while Catullus makes it clear that Lesbia has more autonomy. She hasn’t been tied down by some villainous rival, rather she has more control over her sexuality which allows her to wander about as she pleases.

Catullus 87 – No woman can say she’s been loved so truly as you, Lesbia, have been loved by me. There was never such trust in any bond, as was found, on my part, in my love of you.

Eoin Sansevero

Musical Parallel #2

Lucretius – Aerosmith

The explicit nature of Lucretius’ De Rerum Natura was initially surprising to me. I haven’t ever read a piece of literature that had that much sexual description in it. This is why it came as a complete shock to me that I thought of a song by one of my favorite bands, Aerosmith, while reading Lucretius’ poem. However, it was not the detailed and raunchy language that triggered this connection, but rather the sentiment expressed between the descriptions. His gross descriptions give me a more negative and disgusting view of sex and love, and he follows this up by describing women as “images”. He makes the point that men should turn from these images and stop falling into the trap of love of an individual. He goes on to say that one who loves is “consumed by his strength”, that his “life is ruled by another”, that “his reputation totters and dwindles”, and that “his fortune melts away”. This sequence of descriptions in Book 4 lines 1122-1126 are what made me immediately think of a single line in the song Crazy by Aerosmith. The phrase of being “brought to the grave” is almost exactly what I picture upon reading the description in De Rerum Natura. I also thought this was kind of strange because the theme in the rest of the song is not that one should completely turn away from love, but rather that love is hard and has a lot of ups and downs that make people feel like they are going insane. However, Aerosmith still uses the phrase “to his grave” when depicting the result of the woman on the man in the relationship, which is a very negative depiction and makes me think about the destruction of someone’s life. It is interesting to see how two very different takes on love describe it to be so destructive in nature. Lucretius also depicts men who are transfixed by love as being hit by the “darts of Venus”. This depiction is similar to the classical way of describing love as an infatuation or complete takeover of the lover’s mind by the beloved. Other examples include being struck by Cupid’s arrow. This power and control of Love is expressed in lines 1058 – 1062, where Lucretius discusses the source of this infatuation. The sentiment is that the lover has no control whatsoever and is completely obsessed and manipulated by the one he loves. This kind of sentiment is similarly expressed by Aerosmith in their lyrics, “That kind of lovin’ turns a man to a slave”. The idea of being a slave to love implies the lover has no control over his feelings and almost puts blame on the women for infatuating him. It is this lack of control that makes these two very different works seem alike.

“On the Nature of Things” or “De Rerum Natura”, Book 4

lines 1058-1062: This is what we call Venus. This is also what gives us our name for love; this is that source of that honeyed drop of Venus’ sweetness that is first distilled into our heart, to be followed by chilling care. For even if your loved one is absent, images of her are with you and the darling name keeps ringing in your ears.

lines 1122-1126: Remember too that the lover consumes his strength and is exhausted by the strain; remember that his life is ruled by another. His duties are neglected; his reputation totters and dwindles. Meanwhile, the hard-earned family fortune melts away, transformed into Babylonian perfumes.

The works of Sappho, at least those listed in the anthology, all deal very heavily with the pain that is associated with losing a relationship with a loved one.  In fact, the first poem listed, 1(L-P) begins with a plea to the gods, “Sparkling-wreathed, O deathless Aphrodite,/daughter of Zeus with your web of cunning, I beg you./please don’t crush my heart with longing,/lady, or anguish”(1-4, 1(L-P)) and later “Come to me now once more, and free me from jagged/sorrow, and make what my heart is/longing for, happen”(25-27).  One can see a similar sentiment in the song “Tin Man”, by Miranda Lambert, which is an ode to the fictional character from the Wizard of Oz who famously is searching for his own heart.  However, Lambert in this song instead warns the Tin Man of all the trouble that her heart has brought, singing “You shouldn’t spend your whole life wishin’/For something bound to fall apart” and “If you ever felt one breaking/You’d never want a heart”.  Both of these works reflect the idea that the loss suffered when their love was no longer reciprocated or was somehow lost made any beneficial experience from that love no longer worth it.  Love for both Sappho and Lambert is simply a mechanism for pain and raises the question of why anyone would choose to willingly engage in it.

However, the primary difference between these two pieces is how they choose to move on from this pain.  Sappho seems to reflect a somewhat lustful longing in his works, writing “you came, and I was looking for you/and you cooled my breast aflame with lust”(48(L-P)) and “and many woven garlands/made…of blossoms/around your supple neck”(15-17, 94(L-P)).  Miranda Lambert, on the other hand, appears to instead wish to retreat away from love altogether, singing “By the way Mr. Tin Man/If you don’t mind the scars/You give me your armor/And you can have my heart”.  This is an interesting difference as it shows the two ways people can respond to their heart being broken, whether they choose to pursue a more romantic or sexual relationship.

“Sparkling-wreathed, O deathless Aphrodite,/daughter of Zeus with your web of cunning, I beg you./please don’t crush my heart with longing,/lady, or anguish”(1-4, 1(L-P))
“Come to me now once more, and free me from jagged/sorrow, and make what my heart is/longing for, happen”(25-27)
“you came, and I was looking for you/and you cooled my breast aflame with lust”(48(L-P))
“and many woven garlands/made…of blossoms/around your supple neck”(15-17, 94(L-P))

In Theognis’ poem, the narrator is professing his jealousy over the fact that his lover has just now returned to him after once again being unfaithful with another. The confidence behind his words and his confidence that he is the one the boy truly wants stands out most in this short poem. In fact, this overzealous confidence is exactly what reminded me of the song “He’ll Never Love You Like I Do” by Hayley Kiyoko. In this song, Hayley is also lamenting the fact that her lover has also left her for another however she is still confident that she will return to her. Theognis’ confidence can be seen in how he addresses himself as a “good rider” with a “fine meadow” for the horse to return to. This is similar to how Hayley is confident that her lover still wants her by saying “I know everyday you’re thinking of me”. Both narrators’ ego in the fact that they are the one for their lover and the overarching theme of the songs is what truly makes them relatable.

The main difference between the two works is that while Theognis’ lover has returned to him, Hayley’s lover has not. Therefore, Theognis is right in being confident about being the one for his lover, since technically speaking his lover has returned to him even after being with another. In comparison, Hayley’s lover is still with someone else, and it is unknown as to whether or not she will return. 

Theognis 1249-1252
Bing and Cohen

Boy, you’re like a horse. Just now sated with seed,
you’ve come back to my stable,
yearning for a good rider, fine meadow,
an icy spring, shady groves.