Parallels

The idea that two people compliment each other so well that they complete each other is very interesting. The lover’s souls are in sync with each other, energy between them flows smoothly, communication is sincere and warm. It almost seems like so many aspects of a relationship have to be right in order to reach this height of love. It is to no surprise then, that people, often have many failed attempts at reaching this stage. The incompatibility of love at this level may present itself at any time during a relationship, but the acceptance of it is often saddening and inescapable. Lovers have to come to terms with the reality that sometimes it just can’t work. This is exceptionally seen in Catullus’ self-address regarding his relationship, where he touches on letting go, “Why don’t you toughen up your spirit, pull back from there and, since the gods say no, stop suffering? It’s hard to put down a long love just like that, it’s hard, but somehow you must do it. Only this can save you, this is one you’ve got to win. Do it, whether you can or you can’t.” Catullus knows there is no good to come if his love is to be continued, he wants to prevent any harm going forward by basically ending it as soon as possible. When I heard “when the party’s over” by contemporary artist Billie Eilish, I saw a lot of similarities. Both present a rather dismal and sad experience with love, specifically a love that must be let go. Billie sings, “But nothin’ is better sometimes, Once we’ve both said our goodbyes, Let’s just let it go, Let me let it go.” The narrator in the song knows whats best, despite the pain that may come along, something very common in Catullus’ self-address.

The idea of letting go and acceptance are present in both the song and Catullus’ poem, but they differentiate themselves in the givers and receivers of pain. It seems to be Catullus inflicting most the pain onto himself in his self-address, but in the song it is quite different. The song immediately starts by saying how the narrator is no good for the other person. The pain here is being inflicted by the narrator herself onto another party. The pain Catullus refers to is self-inflicted.

Games of Venus, Peter Bing & Rip Cohen

Catullus, Passage #76

These two pieces reflect the common theme of leaving a relationship to better oneself and reach one’s goals and aspirations that may be held back by being in a romantic relationship, and two very different people wanting two very different things. In the Aeneid Aenus, granted by some precaution of the gods, realizes that his main goal in life was finding and ruling his own kingdom, not being a docile husband to a wife in a walled empire. After he realizes this he decides to pursue his goal again of searching for a kingdom and to do this he must leave Dido to accomplish this feat and that if he stayed in a romantic relationship with her in Libya he would never travel to Italy to accomplish what he needs to do for his son, his people, but most importantly his destiny. Similarly in the song Bea Miller sings that she is leaving the relationship because it is better for herself and not anything against the other person. She just cannot not achieve happiness while staying with the other romantically and that her and her lover wanted very different things in life and being together was not ideal. Just like for Aenus to achieve his destiny and please his people he must leave the walled kingdom and set out on a journey for his own, he even mentions Dido and is afraid how the queen will take it in her impassioned state and it is inferred he is not leaving her because he loved her any less but because staying there holds him back from what must be completed. 

However, in the Aeneid after the gods realize that Aenus is straying from his destiny by being in Dido’s kingdom and falling in love with her the gods make sure to interfere to make sure that Aenus gets back on the track to fulfill his goal. In “It’s not you its me” Bea miller figures out she must leave the relationship all on her own and not from the opinions of the gods. It is interesting how both pieces of work illustrate to achieve what you want and what you must fulfill sometimes a romantic relationship is in the way and must be broken to follow what you want. 

Is it for you
To lay the stones for Carthage’s high walls,
Tame husband that you are, and build their city?
Oblivious of your own world, your own kingdom!
From Bright Olympus he that rules the gods
And turns the earth and heaven by his power-
He and no other sent me to you, told me
To Brin this message on the running winds:
What have you in mind? What hope, wasting your days
In Libya? If future history’s glories
Do not affect you, if you will not strive
For your own honor, think of Ascanius,
Think of the expectations of you heir,
Iulus, to whom the Italian realm, the land
Of Rome, are due.
And Mercury, as he spoke,
Departed from the visual field of mortals
To a great distance, ebbed in subtle air.
Amazed, and shocked to the bottom of his soul
By what his eyes had seen, Aeneas felt
His hackles rise, his voice choke in his throat.
As the sharp admonition and command
From heaven had shaken him awake, he now
Burned only to be gone, to leave that land
Of the sweet life behind. What can he do? How tell
The impassioned queen and hope to win her over?
What opening shall he choose? This way and that
He let his mind dart, testing alternatives,
Running through every one.
(Virgil The Aeneid, chapter 4 lines 361-389

In Propertius’ poem, the speaker complains about his girl’s infidelity and how awful it is to see her “cocked on another man’s arm” (line 5). He seems unsure how to deal with it at first, but finally the story of Antigone and Haemon comes to mind and he thinks of suicide and death. He threatens Cynthia and says that if he dies through love, she should die too. The Beatles’ song too is about infidelity and revenge: “Catch you with another man, that’s the end, little girl.” If that happens, the speaker knows what he will do – he will pursue her (“you better run for your life”) and kill her (that’s the end). Both poems reflect the lover’s jealousy and aggressive tendencies, but one difference is that Propertius seems to have actual evidence of infidelity, while in the Beatles’ song it is just imagined.

Propertius II.8, lines 5-6, 25-28:

Can I see her cocked on another’s arm?
Will she not be called mine who was called mine yesterday?

But you won’t get away with it: you should die with me;
Your blood and mine should drip from the same sword.
Though that death of mine will be dishonorable —
a dishonorable death indeed — but you’ll die too.

Don Williams iconic “It Must Be Love” closely parallels Daphnis and Chloe’s realization about love after Philetas’ teachings. The simultaneous emotional and physical symptoms of love such as feeling on fire, being unable to sleep, and being in pain over love are described almost identically in the song and text. Both Daphnis and Chloe and Williams reason through the physical, often painful symptoms they are experiencing and respectively come to the same conclusion of “Maybe this is Love” and “it must be love.” The song and the text also discuss thinking that something must be wrong to feel this yearning and aching from love, as Daphnis had mentioned earlier in the text. Both the song and text seem as if the characters/narrator are experiencing the emotions for the first time and are just now making sense of them, realizing they are in love. Even the song references feeling like a sparrow and a dove, and the text has a recurring theme of birdsong and birds in love and mythology such as the story of the wood pigeon (pp. 19-20). Finally, the song describes dreaming of embracing their lover, just as Daphnis and Chloe experienced “dreams of desire” after learning about the physical act of making love from Philetas.

Although this song and passage from Daphnis and Chloe are uncannily similar, there is a slight difference in narration. In the text, Daphnis and Chloe are having an actual dialogue with each other about their feelings and reasoning through what love is together. Don Williams’ song has a single narrator, recounting and reasoning through his feelings of love to himself as an internal monologue. Therefore, the song does not show a confession of shared feelings between lovers as Daphnis and Chloe does. As a result, there is not as much resolution in the song since only the narrator realizes he is in love, and it is unclear whether it is requited as is the case with Daphnis and Chloe.

Daphnis and Chloe
Book II, pp.29

Lovers feel pain – why, so do we! They neglect their food – just as we have done! They can’t sleep – that’s just our difficulty now! They think they’re burning – there’s are in us, too! They long for the sight of each other – that’s why we pray for day to come more quickly! Maybe this is Love, and we are in love with each other without knowing it.

The sensations that follow love are many, but one that is present in many works of art involving love touch on the idea of fire and a ‘burning’ desire. In Daphnis and Chloe, the connection to fire appears in the scene following Philetas’ discussion on love with the two love birds. Daphnis and Chloe are left to soak in Philetas’ words and start making connections, “They seem to be on fire, and fire is upon us.” They realize the burning desire from love is something that others feel as well. “Ring of Fire,” by Johnny Cash, addresses the same fiery sensation resulting from love in the first verse, “Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring, bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire.” Like Daphnis and Chloe, Johnny Cash sings about falling prey to love, along with the burning desire that comes with it. The song and book both allude to love as a feeling that is coupled with desire, a desire that eventually grows stronger, much like a spark that transforms into a fire.

Although the burning desire from love is present in both works, it is important to note that the origination of this desire is expressed in different lights. In the song, the desire from love acts as a driver, propelling him further into the ring of fire that is love. In the line from the book, the desire appears to be growing, but it doesn’t embody the guiding nature as directly as it does in the song. 

Daphnis and Chloe, Longus

“They seem to be on fire, and fire is upon us.”

In Symposium, many men are gathered and are discussing what love means to each of them.  During Alcibiades speech, we see that he is in love with Socrates, however, it is also apparent that Socrates does not feel the same way as Alcibiades.  Alcibiades’ struggle with this is shown when he says, “Some times, believe me, I think I would be happier if he were dead.  And yet I know that if he dies I’ll be even more miserable.  I can’t live with him and I can’t live without him!  What can I do about him?”  (Symposium, 216C).  We see that Alcibiades can not seem to overcome his feelings toward Socrates even though he knows that he does not love him back.  In a similar way, in Dean Lewis’s song “Be Alright”, we see that he is in love with someone who does not love him back.  In the song he sings, “But it’s not the fact that you kissed him yesterday, it’s the feeling of betrayal, that I just can’t seem to shake, And everything I know tells me that I should walk away, But I just want to stay” (Dean Lewis, Be Alright).  In the song, it becomes clear that the person that he loves has cheated on him, yet he still loves her very much.

One main difference between these two works is that in “Symposium” Alcibiades was never in an actual relationship with Socrates, while in “Be Alright” it appears that Dean Lewis was in a relationship prior to the song.  However, even with this difference, I believe that the works’ messages are still very similar.  Both of them show people who are in love even though they know that they should not be.  Alcibiades talks about not being able to live with or without Socrates, and Dean Lewis talks about knowing that he should leave the relationship yet still wanting to stay.  Both of them know that their relationships are failed, but their feeling are still hanging on.

“Some times, believe me, I think I would be happier if he were dead. And yet I know that if he dies I’ll be even more miserable. I can’t live with him and I can’t live without him! What can I do about him?”
(Symposium, 216C)

The Brothers by Terence is a great tale of “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. Aeschinus is first depicted as a mischievous, almost rebellious teenager kind of character. Demea is introduced by scrutinizing Micio’s parenting style because of some awful crime that Aeschinus has committed. The beginning basically put a bad picture of Aeschinus in my mind. However, later in the story, it is revealed that the motive behind Aeschinus’ crime is actually for good. He freed a slave from a master in order to set her up with his brother, who had fallen in love with her. When reading, I saw no connection to any songs that I knew. However, when I was listening to music later in the day, the scene of Aeschinus breaking into a home just popped into my head. I was listening to the song “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant, and realized that some of the concepts in this song are very present in The Brothers. The song’s format follows a pattern of presenting a sad, difficult, and very real problems, followed by the chorus of the song, “Oh there ain’t no rest for the wicked/Money don’t grow on trees/I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed/There ain’t nothing in this world for free/Oh no, I can’t slow down, I can’t hold back/Though you know, I wish I could/Oh no there ain’t no rest for the wicked/Until we close our eyes for good”. In each of these situations, I always carry a negative connotation of the person that is with the singer in the scene. However, when the chorus is sung, I am given a new context of who this person might be and what their motivations are. For example, in the opening verse, the situation that is described is a prostitute approaching the singer, and the singer pitying her and asking why she is doing this. My initial reaction is that the prostitute is bad because she is doing a morally wrong thing. Then, the chorus plays and I always reconsider my judgement, even if my opinion doesn’t ultimately change. This happens particularly listening to the line “I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed/There ain’t nothing in this world for free”. The message is clear that the motivations for these morally complex actions might be very good, like to provide for a family. This theme of holding judgment until further context is given, or recasting one’s judgement after true motives are revealed, is a very strong presence in The Brothers. I certainly changed my view of Aeschinus, the bratty teen, after I read the full story and learned who he really was, a brother. While this theme is clear in both works, I do see a fundamental difference in that the people depicted by Cage the Elephant’s song may very well be evil people doing evil things for evil reasons. I do not believe that Aeschinus is acting out of true evil, but the prostitute or the robber or the priest very well could be acting out of true evil. This makes the situations in the song more complex because the true motivations of the people committing a crime, although hinted at, are indeed still unknown to the listener.

The Brothers, Page 371:
Micio: “I believe you; I know you are honourable at heart. But I worry about you and your heedless ways.”

When a lover changes their behavior suddenly, their partner is left reeling. What are they to make of this new behavior, is this just some passing mood or has the person they once knew been replaced? Has some strange doppelganger donned the appearance of their once well-known lover? Vergil and Flora Cash both acknowledge this rather uncomfortable part of love – the lovers themselves changing.

Flora Cash’s melancholy song “You’re Somebody Else” describes the plight of the singer realizing that his lover has changed on fundamental level, “Well, you look like yourself/But you’re somebody else/Only it ain’t on the surface/Well you talk like yourself/No, I hear someone else though/Now you’re making me nervous”. Their lover superficially looks the same, but the singer is picking up on something much deeper being different about them. This change makes the singer nervous as it calls into question what the relationship was built on – if something in the core of the lover has changed, is the singer in love with the same person? Or have they really become someone else – and is that someone else a person that the singer can love? The singer feels distinctly uncomfortable with the entire situation, especially when considering how important their lover was to them.

Poor abandoned Dido also must deal with a changed lover. Her once doting partner, Aeneas, is suddenly forced by the gods to return to his original plan of going to Italy. Just like that, Aeneas sets the wheels in motion to leave and throws Dido to the wayside. Dido laments this drastic change, and it is noted that “no tears moved him, no one’s voice would he attend to tractably. The fates opposed it; God’s will blocked the man’s once kindly ears” (Virgil, The Aeneid, lns. 607-609). Once, the pleas of his love and her sister would convince him to stay, but he has undergone a change, forced by the gods to harden his heart. So, lovers today and the ancient world both had to deal with the discomfort of change. Strong relationships are said to grow and change together, but neither the singer nor Dido/Aeneas seem to have that experience. Aeneas’ sudden change, his re-dedication to his fate, is enough to break Dido “So broken in mind by suffering, Dido caught her fatal madness and resolved to die.” (Virgil, The Aeneid, lns. 656-657).

Therein lies our major difference. For our singer, the change in character of his lover is enough to give him pause and wonder at what this might mean for his relationship. For Dido, Aeneas being ‘replaced’ by a hard-hearted doppelganger is what leads her to die by suicide. The singer’s reaction is considerably more sensible and leaves the option for him to come to terms with all that has changed.

“no tears moved him, no one’s voice would he attend to tractably. The fates opposed it; God’s will blocked the man’s once kindly ears” (Virgil, The Aeneid, lns. 607-609)
“So broken in mind by suffering, Dido caught her fatal madness and resolved to die.” (Virgil, The Aeneid, lns. 656-657).

Drinking alcohol is an age-old remedy for the pains of love. The poem’s narrator, the stranger, and the subject of Webb Pierce’s song all use alcohol as an emotional numbing agent to forget about losing their loves. A parallel most closely exists between the stranger drinking and the subject of Pierce’s song (or Pierce himself if the song is autobiographic). Both characters have been “burned” by love and use alcohol to forget about this. Pierce’s song sarcastically states this is his first drink today, and the narrator in Callimachus’ poem states that it is the stranger’s third drink, showing that both are going beyond casual drinking into drunkenness to completely “dim” their pains. Both the stranger and the song’s subject are described as having a “wound” or being “in misery,” showing the intense nature of their emotional hurt.

Despite the stranger and the subject of Pierce’s song both using alcohol to numb their pain from lost love, there is little information about how the stranger has “been burned.” The narrator in Callimachus’ poem simply states that he knows the stranger’s look of pain from experience, but the reason for his pain is never revealed. Conversely, Pierce’s song is more descriptive about the reasons for his drinking, stating that his love has left him and that he does not know where she is. Therefore, both the stranger in the poem and the narrator in the song use alcohol to alleviate their pain from love, but the poem is nondescript about the reasons for his pain whereas Pierce’s song is more explicit. Additionally, Callimachus’ poem describes the stranger from a third party’s perspective, whereas Pierce’s song is a first person account of the “burned” lover. 

Callimachus 43, pp.138

We didn’t notice that the stranger has a wound. What a painful sigh he heaved (did you see?) when he drank his third cup…He’s burned, and bad! I’m not just guessing, by the gods. A thief knows the tracks of a thief.

When you combine love with wine, the result of this mixture can either be pleasant or surprisingly bad. In the ancient as in the modern world, drinking often coincides with social interaction and meeting new people. With help from liquid courage, someone may be surprisingly successful in finding a partner. But alcohol can also deceive our judgement, leading us to regret some questionable choices when the effects wear off. Tyler Farr’s lyrics tell of a classic tale of a man and woman meeting and falling in love at a bar but ultimately splitting ways. Similarly, Ovid warns that the wine may make the other person appear more beautiful than they actually are, which may lead to dissatisfaction in the future.

Although both are discussing the potential pitfalls of falling in love with someone at a bar or while drunk, Ovid’s writing is informational on how to find a lover and overall has a optimistic tone. Book 1 of Ovid’s focuses on the best places to ingratiate yourself with a lover without raising too much suspicion. Tyler’s song instead is an entertaining warning on falling in love at the wrong place.

“That is the time when girls can capture the hearts of their young men:
When you have Venus in wine, then you have fire in fire.
Don’t, at any such time, put too much faith in lamplight.
Judgement of beauty can err, what with the wine and the dark.”
Book I, Lines 244-247

A common phrase in today’s society is “gold digger” when referencing a woman who seems to be after a man for his money, or expects lavish gifts in return for her love. In ancient greek and roman literature this is also a common theme when women except and want expensive gifts from their male lovers. Many poets warn of women who demand lavish gifts and would drain men of their money for expensive clothing and jewelry. The idea is that the man is so desperate for love from a woman that  he would spend ridiculous amounts of money on her so he can keep her attention and therefore her as a lover.  Tibullus warns male lovers of this phenomenon saying to watch out for the woman who only wants for material gifts. He hints that when other men see a lovesick man throw his money and accomplishments away for the sake of love he will be dishonored. It emphasizes the point that he is not responsible with his assets and should not be privileged to them if he is going to throw them away to please a women. “may wind and fire wipe out the wealth you’ve gained.”  In lovelytheband’s song, make you feel pretty, the narrator sings about spending all his money to make his lover feel wanted and pretty. So despite Tibullus’s warning the author is depositing all his wealth on his lover to keep her affection and make her feel pretty and wanted, exactly what Tibullus warns against. Tibullus is careful to warn that throwing gifts at a woman is not equatable for love and a proper man would not be as desperate to spend all his money on a woman. 

But its Venus above all who I should violate. She talks me into crime, gives me a money grabbing girl: she should feel my sacrilegious hands. Death to whoever gathers green emeralds and tinges snowy wool with tyrian purple and Coan cloth antoher source of greed in girls and sleek perals from the Red Sea.

But you, who keep out lovers beaten by the price tag, may wind and fire wipe out the wealth you’ve gained. and then may boys watch with glee as your house burns and no on bother to throw water on the blaze. And if death comes to you, there’ll be none to mourn or toss a gift onto your gloomy rites.
(Chapter Tibullus 2.4,line 24-44)

Both male narrators (Jason and the “I” in the Rolling Songs song) promise their female interlocutors fame, literally by “taking them to the top”. In one case this means promising Medea that she’ll be, like Ariadne, a constellation in the sky which everyone can see; in the other, the singer promises the woman that if she follows him, he’ll put her on a pedestal and make her successful. Both men are manipulative, but there are also differences in the two passages. In Apollonius’ text, we see the reaction of the woman (Medea is smitten), while in the song we only learn the male perspective. In addition, we only know how deceitful Jason is if we’ve read Euripides’ (earlier) play about the aftermath of Jason and Medea’s relationship, while the Rolling Stones song points to it directly with the line “Have you ever heard that opening line?”.

Book III, pp. 135-6:

Grant me your aid and in the days to come I will reward you duly, repaying you as best I can from the distant land where I shall sing your praises….Remember Ariadne…She did not scruple to befriend Theseus and save him in his hour of trial…She was the darling of the gods and she has her emblem in the sky: all night a ring of stars called Ariadne’s Crown rolls on its way among the heavenly constellations. You too will be thanked by the gods if you save me and all my noble friends.

A popular concept in love is betrayal and abandonment that leaves the other lost, confused and heartbroken. Of course that also means the lovers aren’t privy to when that affection stops and their lover decides to leave the relationship often coming as a shock and leaving the other broken and alone. Two pieces of work that really highlight this concept are Euripedes Medea and Taylor Swift’s I knew you were trouble, which both highlight women who have been left and scorned by men. In Medea she is not native to Greece and therefore does not have the same rights as a Greek citizen, since she followed Jason there after she helped him Aquire the Golden Fleece. In the play Jason has abandoned her for another woman which leads to her being possibly exiled from the Greek kingdom she currently resides in. Similarly in Taylor Swifts sings of being flown to places she’s never been then being left on the cold hard ground. Just like how Medea was taken to Greece then left with nowhere to go. This shows the almost naive lover who will follow a man when they are in love with no thought of consequence of their actions or any thought that their lover may betray and leave them. This leaves the lover alone and broken in a foreign place after sacrificing so much in the name of love.

However differently than Taylor Swifts trouble she does not attempt to seek revenge on her lover singing that she herself is at fault since she knew he was trouble when he walked in. There are also no promises that were seemed to be made to Taylor by her lover leading to no expectations that were not followed through and betrayal on that front. In Medea, Jason has broken his promise to Madea, which she often brings up through the play, especially after all she has helped him with. 

My lady,
Madea, would never have sailed to Iolkos’ towers,
Her spirit struck senseless with love of Jason.
Sh wouldn’t have persuaded Pelias’ daughters to kill
Their father, she wouldn’t have settled her in Corinth,
With her husband and children. Sh tried to please
The people to whose land she had come, an exile,
And for her part to fit in with Jason in everything.
This, to my mind, is a woman’s greatest safety:
Not to take the opposite side from her husband.
But now – everything’s against her, her love is sick.
Jason betrayed his children and my mistress
(Euripides Medea lines 6-17)

Theocritus describes the Cyclops as one who would give anything to be with the one he loves, Galatea. At one point, the Cyclops says that “I’d let you burn my soul and my one eye, the sweetest thing of all of me.” This portion of the ancient writing brought to mind the song “All of Me” by John Legend. Both focus on how they would give up their entire self to be with the one they love. For the Cyclops, it was the one thing that he treasured most which was his eye. For John Legend, it was entire being especially when he says “I give my all to you.” Both focus on the sacrifices that some people are willing to make for love in order for the other person to see how strong the feelings of love are.

However, “All of Me” also focuses on the other person in the relationship. For instance, it speaks about how if the speaker gives all of themselves then the other would also give themselves to the other person in return. In the excerpt from ancient text, the focus is on the things that the Cyclops will be able to give and provide to Galatea. It only says that Galatea “won’t be worse for it” and the it referring to being with the Cyclops. 

Theocritus Chapter 11; lines 52-57
“and I’d even let you burn my soul and my one eye, sweetest thing of all to me. O why didn’t my mother bear me with gills so I could have dived down to you and kissed your hand if you won’t let me kissed your mouth and brought you white lilies”

Both Ovid and Kanye West are fascinated with the idea of money-hungry women and the manipulative acts women will commit to achieve their goals, with both Ovid and Kanye coining the term “gold-digger”. Both passages take a rather misogynistic view of women as deceptive, manipulative, and financially demanding. They both describe specific deceptive acts to swindle men out of money, with Ovid stating that a woman will make you write a check if you don’t have cash to buy her gift. Similarly, Kanye describes a woman making the man wash dishes to pay for their dinner. Both the ancient and modern gold-digger also use physical intimacy to get what they want. Ovid and Kanye warn other men to avoid this type of money-hungry woman.

However, the gold-digger in Kanye’s song is more flashy and straight forward about her expensive taste with her outward appearance. Conversely, Ovid’s gold-digger seems slightly more inconspicuous and deceptive. For instance, Kanye’s song describes a woman wearing Louis Vuitton and driving expensive cars. Ovid does not describe the women as being outwardly flashy or sexy but more cunning and deceptive to lure rich men in, painting a deeper cognitive and emotional motive.

Ars Amatoria
pp.118, lines 420-436

Women have ways; they know how they can swindle a man…Then she will give you a kiss, then she will ask you to buy…If you make an excuse, and say that you’ve no money with you, Give him a check, she will say…I could not possibly count the gold-digging ruses of women, Not if I had ten mouths, not if I had ten tongues.